I have been very fortunate over the years in the friends I have had. Some of these became more like aquaintances over time; some became like second family. And others sadly enough moved on to places unknown.
Some times upon meeting a person it seems like you just know right away that they will be a great friend. Some times it becomes obvious that there just isn't a connection and you will just be aquaintances. Then there are the ones that kind of grow on you over time. I think that these friends are the ones that make a lasting impression and difference in your life over all. It takes time to get to know them and them to know you.
You just know in your heart that if you ever need any thing, they are there for you. They are the kind that open their door, invite you in, and offer what ever comfort is needed. Some times just a place to sit and visit for a while before driving the rest of the long way home. Some times a snack and cup of coffee, and some times they just start pulling out the kettles and fixing a full blown meal!
Then there are the few friends that you make in your life time that you liked right off; then they really grew on you over time. You can agree to disagree. You have serious converations about things that really matter. You have discussions and debates. You have some awesome laughing sessions until your sides ache! You give each other nicknames. Some stick, and others pass depending on the situation. You give each other hugs, handshakes, and a hard time. You challenge and encourage each other.
I wanted to write this in honor of my friend Mike Fisher. If you ever wanted a friend that is described in the above paragraph, he is the one. I call him "Mr. Fisher", he has given me several nicknames. The one that has stuck is "Miss Pink Pants". Due to my favorite pair of climbing pants.
There have been cookies, brownies, and coffee, skillet tacos, fresh veggies, and any manner of other treats. Conversations around the kitchen table, sometimes leading to; "lets go to the living room and sit on some comfortable chairs". At times there is music playing,other times some good old videos, and of course the rock climbing videos.
Some of the best times though are at the crag. He is one of the hardest climbers I know. He also likes to put up some "moderate routes". Of course when he is done with them, they have become some thing that I know I will not be climbing! Of course this isn't always true. There are several that are right up my alley and have become favorites of mine. But of course I have to give him a hard time. That is part of our friendship after all!
Along with my Michael, (I say it this way so as not to confuse you), we have been though many a fine day at the craig. And I introduce this line of thought because I met Mr. Fisher because he has been friends and a climbing partner with Michael for years before I came on the scene.
Some other fine times have been had camping. Once to his astonishment, Michael and I had to sleep in the open, because the tent didn't make it to the truck. It was a beautiful night out and sleeping under the stars was wonderful. Then to get up the next morning, break camp and go climbing. The next trip didn't turn out quite like we planned when the weather went bad. Soon after crawling in our tents the rain poured down. The following morning it was still drenching every thing. Reguardless, Michael fixed a hot breakfeast and coffee, with Mr. Fisher looking out of the partially unzipped flap of his tent. Then we packed up and called it a day!
So phone calls are regularly made back and forth; some just for greetings, some for long conversations. A lot of them are for making plans. The usual question of," what are you up to today?" Followed by, "what you got in mind?"
No matter the response, you know you are either being thought of, or are going to get together to do some serious climbing or just hang out. No matter the plan, you know you are in for a good time with a good friend!
I sometimes think that a lot of the women (and more than a few men) who DON'T immediately "take" to Cindy are blocked by the realization that, compared to the challenge of living with both MS and a crazy old coot like me, they have NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.
ReplyDeleteEven those who at first attach themselves at the hip out of a sense of "look, another girl at the crag!" seem to fade away with time. And small wonder, when you stop and think about it. It probably puts a lot of pressure on others when, after a winter of slacking, self-defeat and excuses, they see my gal CB out there "going for it", despite the fact that it gets HARDER for her every year, regardless of what she may or may not do to stay in shape during bad weather.
Mike Fisher is not one of those "fair-weather" or "convenient" friends. He has encouraged me when I didn't believe in myself, and he has NEVER let circumstance serve as an excuse not to "have a taste", as he puts it.
Mike Fisher has been a far better friend to me than I have been to him, and yet I am never greeted at his door with anything except a welcoming smile. Despite nearly non-existant finances, family concerns in another state and a grueling work search schedule, "Doc Goodwack" shows up whenever possible for trailwork, rock climbing, and the occasional social event. If only half of the folks with far more leisure time and discretionary income would do the same, neither Miss Pinkpants, nor the good Doctor, nor even this old curmudgeon would ever have to touch the trails again!
In rock climbing, there is a certain crowd that flocks to the new areas and the people developing them. If you are one of these pioneers and developers, a lot of people want to be your friend because you are "in the know" about the as-of-yet unpublished crags and new climbs. Some want to "get in on the gound floor." Many simply want to take advantage of your hard work to expand their own reputation, without the commensurate level of dedication: securing access, building and trails, coordinating with the NFS and local landowners, conceiving of, cleaning and developing routes (a much more demanding process than can be understood by anyone who has never been through it), recruiting volunteers and maintaining communications with the climbing community (usually the biggest waste of time and source of frustration among a cadre whose motto seems to be "What, ME... Responsible?").
When these kinds of friends eventually cop to the concept that your focus is not seasonal, that you will not destroy the environment for convenience nor suffer fools gladly despite the fact that they may be sleeping with a friend, they usually find more and more excuses to miss trailwork and climbing weekends. Starting out strong has never ensured that any horse would win, much less finish, the race.
I have met a huge number of people, during my travels across this land we live in; some of them amazing, many of them not bad people, and a few who were even greater assholes than myself. Most have taken an immediate dislike to me and, in more than one instance, become dedicated adversaries (always an amusing diversion). Some have fallen by the wayside when it has been inconvenient to maintain the pretense of friendship that began purely as a means to learn of new climbing areas and improve their "reps".
But a few, a very, very few, have become the planets that orbit through my own small corner of the galaxy. The call and write, show up in good weather or bad, share triumphs and failures, victories and lessons of Life. The are the foundations of a life lived mostly by myself and according to my own rules.
And one has become the shining source of life about which I circle.
I cannot adequately express my gratitude for each and every one of them. But to Cindy Bender and Mike fisher, at least, I can say a resounding "Thank You!"